3 tahun lalu....

Musim-musim SPM ni teringat pulak cerita 3 tahun lepas....That was my SPM....semua perasaan ada pada masa tu....banyak kenangan manis,pahit,masam dan tawar berlaku pada masa itu....

As usual first paper BAHASA MELAYU...keadaan nak masuk dewan peperiksaan di MRSM PDRM amat berbeza berbanding dengan sekolah harian...untuk budak2 dari form 1 mungkin mereka dh biasa tp bdk2 dari sekolah harian pasti rasa satu kelainan....semua orang berkumpul dan majoriti cikgu2 hadir pada pagi tersebut....termasuk pengetua...En Nazir...orang kata macam nak hantarq p haji tu....memang satu pengalaman yang hebat menduduki SPM kat MRSM....

Up till today walaupun dah 3 tahun berlalu, ada banyak benda yang takkan dilupakan dan disimpan selamanya....

A night before the papers I received a card...

for other people maybe ini hanya kad biasa....but for me it really special....I will keep this card forever... it inspires me a lot...the words give me strength.... not only SPM, even when I had final exams at university I read this card too....

I don't know the person who gave me this card still remember or not...but whatever it is I will never forget U....thanks for being on my side all this while...

my preparation on stationary mula sangat awal...duduk asrama kena prepare la semuanya dengan cepat....then keluar la iklan pen stabilo exam grade....dalam fikiran"teringin jugak nak ada pen nie walaupun satu"...tapi sebab busy taklah ingat sangat sampailah pada malam tu jugak this special person gave me the card and also the stationary..bila pulang asrama betapa gembiranya bila buka tengok-tengok ada pen STABILO EXAM GRADE nie....

this is the pen....

BETAPA gembiranya hanya Allah sahaja yang tahu....dan esoknya sangat tak sabar nak jawab paper BAHASA MELAYU guna pen ini....selepas daripada hari tu setiap hari bila ada exam akan bawa pen nie...

This is my short story about my SPM 3 years ago....sorry I didn't include on how about the papers etc because its over and I dont even feel wanna talk about it...just a simple story which I remember each year when SPM comes....

1 Litre of Tears...

1 Litre of Tears(LOT) is my first Japan drama. Somehow I don't really like to watch japan/korea drama but this is different...

This LOT came while I'm having final exams....

At first I didn't take it seriously but at last I cried because of this drama...

End of this episode I start to think of myself....can I be like Aya? am I strong like her? how the people surroundings? how about my dreams? how about my life?

I'm so surprised and salute her....She inspires me a lot...many things I learnt in this drama....

love

friendship

happiness

loneliness

family

hope

I'm so sure anyone who watch this they will cry....

To Aya ;

although there is no cure about your disease but you already cured many people...in terms of self motivation, inspiration and how someone adapt to their life....personally I thank you for telling me the hope and appreciation in life.....

This is what she wrote in her diaries...

My life is like a flower that hasn’t bloomed yet.

From the start of this youth, I want to treasure it and have no regrets.

Okaasan. In my heart, I know I can always trust my mom.

From this point forward, I leave it for you.

I’m sorry for always making you worry.

This disease, why it did choose me?

Fate. It can’t be put into words.

I want to make a time machine and go back in time.

If it wasn’t for this disease, not only I could I enjoy falling in love but I also wouldn’t have to rely on anyone and live by myself.

I really don’t want to say things such as “I want to go back to how things were before”.

I recognize how I am right now, and I will continue to live on.

Therefore I definitely won’t run away.

That’s what I’ll do. Definitely, always.

Even if it’s like that, I still want to stay here.

Because this is the place where I am.

To be able to be seen as an equal by my friends, I’m really thankful.

“We’ve started to like reading, under Aya’s influence”, they said.

“Ah! that’s great”. I didn’just only make trouble for them…

Thinking like this, I’ve started not mind it that much.

If you look up at the sky after falling down the blue sky is also today stretching limitlessly and smiles at me… I’m alive.

I’m alive.

There are still four days until school ends.

Seems like that because of me, everyone is folding a thousand paper cranes.

The looks they had when they were folding so diligently,

I’m going to keep them deep in my memory.

Even when we’ve been separated, I will never forget them. But… I’d rather hear them say “Aya-chan, don’t go.”

People shouldn’t dwell on the past. It’s enough to try your best in all that you’re doing now.

The sounds, “ma”, “wa”, “ba” and “n” have become hard to pronounce.

I can only breathe out air instead of saying it. So I can’t communicate with others.

Recently, I have been talking to myself a lot. I didn’t like it before,

but to practice pronouncing, I have to do it. I will not give up on speaking…

Reality is too cruel, too brutal. I don’t even have the right to dream.

As I think about the future, the tears will come out again.

Where should I head towards? Even if there isn’t an answer, I’ll feel better by writing it down.

I’ve looked for a pair of helping hands. But I couldn’t feel them, couldn’t see them.

I only face towards the darkness and hear sounds of my hopeless screams.

Okaasan, will I be able to get married?

Arigatou Goizamasu..

What is so special about this drama?

1 Litre of Tears is based on a true story which followed the journey of a 15 year old girl named Aya Kitou. At the tender age 15, Aya was diagnosed with a rare disease called Spinocerebellar Degeneration, a disease which eventually affects her nervous system. She’ll slowly experience mobility and speech difficulty and later succumbs to coma state and finally death. Sadly, till this day, there’s NO cure for this degenerative condition which last for the remainder of the patient’s life.

Anybody who had this disease may think of dying and giving up hope. I’m sure I’ll. But not Aya, she leads her life to the fullest till her death at the age of 25. During the 10 years, she did not spent it by mourning or go on a blaming spree. She continue living and kept writing on her diary until she no longer has the ability to hold a pen. The diary was something like a reminder and motivation for her not to give up. Throughout her struggle to find hope, she shed tons of tears many many times. Her heartwarming diary was published shortly before her death and it went on to inspire people who had the same disease like her. Not only that, her courage and positive attitude towards life also touched people from all walks of life to live on no matter how small is the hope.

Kadang-kadang...tapi....

Ini adalah sebuah cerita tentang kadang-kadang....tapi....

Kadang-kadang bukan lupa tapi tak kesempatan...

Kadang-kadang bukan tak nak ambil tahu tapi takut dikatakan busy body...

Kadang-kadang ingin menjaga persahabatan tapi yang lain pula terluka...

Kadang-kadang ingin jadi terbaik tapi dikatakan tonjol diri...

Kadang-kadang tak pernah sibuk tapi kata sibuk...

Kadang-kadang rasa dilupai tapi diketepikan...

Kadang-kadang nak buat tak tahu sahaja tapi diri tak sampai hati...

Kadang-kadang.....tapi....

Itulah cerita kadang-kadang...tapi....

dalam kehidupan kita mana boleh lari dari kadang-kadang dan tapi.....