Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
This is what she wrote in her diaries...
My life is like a flower that hasn’t bloomed yet.
From the start of this youth, I want to treasure it and have no regrets.
Okaasan. In my heart, I know I can always trust my mom.
From this point forward, I leave it for you.
I’m sorry for always making you worry.
This disease, why it did choose me?
Fate. It can’t be put into words.
I want to make a time machine and go back in time.
If it wasn’t for this disease, not only I could I enjoy falling in love but I also wouldn’t have to rely on anyone and live by myself.
I really don’t want to say things such as “I want to go back to how things were before”.
I recognize how I am right now, and I will continue to live on.
Therefore I definitely won’t run away.
That’s what I’ll do. Definitely, always.
Even if it’s like that, I still want to stay here.
Because this is the place where I am.
To be able to be seen as an equal by my friends, I’m really thankful.
“We’ve started to like reading, under Aya’s influence”, they said.
“Ah! that’s great”. I didn’just only make trouble for them…
Thinking like this, I’ve started not mind it that much.
If you look up at the sky after falling down the blue sky is also today stretching limitlessly and smiles at me… I’m alive.
There are still four days until school ends.
Seems like that because of me, everyone is folding a thousand paper cranes.
The looks they had when they were folding so diligently,
I’m going to keep them deep in my memory.
Even when we’ve been separated, I will never forget them. But… I’d rather hear them say “Aya-chan, don’t go.”
People shouldn’t dwell on the past. It’s enough to try your best in all that you’re doing now.
The sounds, “ma”, “wa”, “ba” and “n” have become hard to pronounce.
I can only breathe out air instead of saying it. So I can’t communicate with others.
Recently, I have been talking to myself a lot. I didn’t like it before,
but to practice pronouncing, I have to do it. I will not give up on speaking…
Reality is too cruel, too brutal. I don’t even have the right to dream.
As I think about the future, the tears will come out again.
Where should I head towards? Even if there isn’t an answer, I’ll feel better by writing it down.
I’ve looked for a pair of helping hands. But I couldn’t feel them, couldn’t see them.
I only face towards the darkness and hear sounds of my hopeless screams.
Okaasan, will I be able to get married?
What is so special about this drama?
1 Litre of Tears is based on a true story which followed the journey of a 15 year old girl named Aya Kitou. At the tender age 15, Aya was diagnosed with a rare disease called Spinocerebellar Degeneration, a disease which eventually affects her nervous system. She’ll slowly experience mobility and speech difficulty and later succumbs to coma state and finally death. Sadly, till this day, there’s NO cure for this degenerative condition which last for the remainder of the patient’s life.
Anybody who had this disease may think of dying and giving up hope. I’m sure I’ll. But not Aya, she leads her life to the fullest till her death at the age of 25. During the 10 years, she did not spent it by mourning or go on a blaming spree. She continue living and kept writing on her diary until she no longer has the ability to hold a pen. The diary was something like a reminder and motivation for her not to give up. Throughout her struggle to find hope, she shed tons of tears many many times. Her heartwarming diary was published shortly before her death and it went on to inspire people who had the same disease like her. Not only that, her courage and positive attitude towards life also touched people from all walks of life to live on no matter how small is the hope.